Exulansis
EXULANSIS 1
When I woke up, there was light in the room. I remember the last time I looked at the clock. It showed the time as 4:30 am, I was awake for a long time after that. I don’t really know the time when I went to sleep…
I tried recollecting the events of the previous night. I played the game2 twice last night. No luck… no luck till now
8:30 am
I live close to where I work, it’ll take me hardly 10 minutes to reach my office, even if I slack off, I can reach the office way before my shift begins. So waking up at 8:30 is no big deal. My shift begins at 9:00 am, so I went to take a shower, skipped breakfast, as usual.
I reached my office, which is a software company which develops algorithms for medical diagnosis and other imaging technologies. I get a hefty salary and a yearly vacation abroad, the perks of being the ideal son and student… I went straight into my cubicle. No one to wish me a good day or even smile at me. I’m used to this now. Working like a robot, programmed to write programme codes for other robots. I hardly took breaks, apart from a lunch break common for the office. No one came to me during the break times. I wasn’t interested in socializing either, being an introverted loner, their avoidance was a boon for me… and I was used to it.
5:00 pm
My day in the office was coming to an end. My shift was over at 5:00 pm, I didn’t linger around, went straight to my apartment. Apart from the bare necessary furniture and stuff, my apartment was empty, much like my mind. A void. I hate to say this but the fact is, I’m a loner, an asshole at times, more like a bloodlusted monster, craving revenge, venting it’s frustrations through violence. But where did I go wrong. Why should I? Why should I apologize for the monster I’ve become? NO ONE apologized for making me this way…
When my colleagues found out that I wouldn’t fit in, they drifted away. Avoidance is the name of the game. I was building up a kind-of relationship with this girl in my office, that ‘building’ was much more a house of cards, and it fell down with the slightest hint of a breeze, and its destruction was completed with 2 bottles of vodka and a packet of Dunhill, that was almost 6 months ago.
I moved on. Well, I thought I did, but slowly, I was withdrawing myself from the cruelties of reality. I was ‘OKAY’ on my own. Not happy, not sad, just numb. I found relief in the game2. The game was the only thing that kept me going. I had bought a console3, the most expensive one at that. And time went on for a long long time.
9:00 pm
Coming back to the present, my mom was the only relative I had. She was in our ancestral home, I hardly talk to her and here I am, in a metropolitan city, living ‘THE LIFE’, a high paying job, all allowances met by the company and all I had to do was write program codes for robots; and play my game; and oh, almost forgot, increasing my bank balance was also a benefit; the perks of being a…
I sat in the couch for almost 4 hours and didn’t even change. I was not ‘on’ the couch, I was ‘in’ it!
Life can be a bitch at times!
I went to the table and sat there. The console for playing was ready there. The only thing I did for another three hours was breathe, I was desperate, desperate to win. I checked the time, it was past midnight and I wanted to win. So, I started playing;
1st Attempt: Spin the revolver, pull the trigger… Nothing. Failure.
‘Restart game’. The clock ran for another three hours as I sat there. Motionless.
2nd Attempt: Spin it again, pulled the trigger… nothing, restart again
I’ve been playing the game for almost 6 months now. At first I played it once in a week or so. Now, desperate to win, I’ve got a ‘one in six’ chance to win. I play twice or thrice a day. I checked my phone, it was past 4 o’ clock and I tried playing once more
3rd Attempt: Spin the revolver, point at the temple, pull the tri…
BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9:30 am, the next day;
“The police came to the conclusion that the victim was playing Russian Roulette, the suicidal game. Reports are coming in that the victim was suffering from some kind of mental illness, as the victims social and personal spheres indicate a withdrawal from friends and family. He hadn’t contacted his mother for almost a month. An officer told ‘News Now’ that “…a good therapy along with medication could’ve saved his life…”
1. 1.Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.
2. Game: Russian Roulette
3. Console: ‘Colt’ revolver.
good going brother ..and plz change template Ms word Online Test in Hindi
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